Only thirty or so years late.
The central tenent of Marxism, all that historical analysis crap aside, is “from each according to his abilities, to each according to his need”. Sounds pretty good doesn’t it? Fair, egalitarian even. Especially to Johnny Working Class.
“Ooh,” thinks Johnny Working Class. “I shan’t have to work so hard and I’ll be able to get a new hat for the missus, a new pair of boots, and three meals a day. Oh joy!”
Sorry Johnny WC, but you’ve got that wrong. Let’s take a look at that formulation of Mr “Living off the sweat of the working masses while decrying their situation” Marx’:
1) “From each according to his abilities”. This sounds fair enough, doesn’t it? The worker shall be required to do such work as he is suited for, to the extent that he is able. Works out to Johnny WC working less, right? Wrong. Let’s face it, at the moment you’re probably skiving off as much as you can because you hate your flabby bosses and just can’t be arsed to pay for their third Porsche. Thirty minute smoke breaks, hour long tea breaks, hour and a half for lunch sound about right? Well, Johnny there’s none of that under communism. You’ve got to meet your potential. None of this nipping off for a quick nap in the disabled loos Johnny, we mustn’t let the revolution down. Must meet our quota old boy. What’s that? You can’t meet an arbitrarily set measure of productivity? It’s beyond your ability? Well, I’m sorry Johnny, but Jack Working Class the next bench over is doing just fine. You’re just being lazy. You must work harder! For the revolution Johnny! For the Revolution!
2) “To each according to his needs.” Again, this sounds pretty fair, doesn’t it Johnny? None of this fat-cat boss behaviour, grabbing as much as you can shove into your pocket with those chubby hands. Nope, just the noble knowledge that you are only taking what is coming to you. Although, we have to say, that new hat for the wife… do you really need that? Is a second pair of boots an absolute necessity? Do you really need three meals a day when you can work just as well on one? For the Revolution Johnny!
Do more, eat less, feel secure in the knowledge that everyone else is as miserable as you are. Like a health spa, only you can’t leave and if you steal the towels you’ll be shot. For the Revolution!
Stick that in your Che Guevara t-shirt and smoke it.
